Eff You, Potty Training!
Potty training regression can suck it.
So I potty trained my three year old daughter about six months ago. I mean, I thought I potty trained my daughter six months ago. I should have known better because it was a little too easy at the time.
We bought special underwear, she was totally into it. We got a Dora potty seat, there were stickers and treats for going pee pee in the potty. Within a week, I got to call her potty trained.
We even took an eight hour road trip in only underwear and she did great!
And here we are...un-potty trained.
It started with her yelling out, "I gotta pee!" and then collapsing to the floor, in a ball, giggling until I rushed over to her and carried her to the bathroom. All of the sudden, she had trained me to literally make her go to the bathroom. Short of peeing for her, I was doing everything else!
Then she just wasn't even telling me anymore. I would ask her if she needed to go and she would angrily scream, "No!"
I was getting really frustrated, but before going all out "Mean Mommy" on her I took her to the doctor in case she had a UTI or some kind of blockage. Nope! She's just fine.
It has now progressed to an all out power struggle.
This is how it goes:
[Lola collapses to the floor in a ball, or does a pee pee dance.]
Me: "Lola, do you have to go to the bathroom?"
[She blatantly ignores me.]
Me: "Lola, do you have to go the bathroom?"
Lola: "No! I don't have to!"
[Time passes, more squirming, more pee pee dancing.]
Me: "Lola, you need to go to the bathroom."
Mean Mommy arrives.
This is when I physically take her to the bathroom and make her go. But now this situation escalates into an all out battle. Lola is screaming. I'm forcing her to sit on the toilet. She is planking now, and will not even sit. Instead her strategy is to find a way to slide off the toilet.
And then I have a brief out of body experience and I can Mean Mommy forcing screaming child to sit on the potty.
This is clearly not working. At all. In fact, she may need therapy some day for this.
So I let her go.
And five minutes later she is happily playing in pee soaked pants.
I have tried positive reinforcement. I have tried keeping on top of her. I have tried to force her. I have let her just pee her pants hoping she gets uncomfortable. I've made her clean her own mess up. I've had quiet, sweet talks with her about the importance of going pee pee on the potty. I have given her a time out for screaming her head off. I have threatened to call the doctor and take her again if she doesn't go.
I'm at the I-don't-know-what-to-do-but-I-better-figure-it-out-or-I-am-going-to-loose-my-effing-mind stage.
It's clearly not an ability thing. She poops in the potty almost all the time. I say almost because last week she decided to pull this crap with the number twosies. Literally. I draw the line at poop. I can't deal.
So my solution right now is to start over. I bought some bribing treats to reinforce her positive behavior. I got sour gummy bears and M&M's in hopes that this will be enough to get her to go on her own like she did six months ago.
I might be inducing diabetes and contributing to a mouth full of cavities, but at least she'll be a potty trained diabetic.
Wish me luck!
P.S. - If you have any suggestions, I'm game.